Stayed over, used the expensive one, left the cap off. Then asked if I wanted to “do this again sometime.” I said maybe. I meant no. My skin looks better than his manners.
Tag: hangover
The Group Chat Voted Him Out
Unanimous. Even I voted against myself. He was mid and talked about his founder journey. Never again.
Mia’s Ex Came Round Drunk
He turned up at 1am with Tesco flowers and a speech. Mia let him in. I filmed nothing, which is growth. The group chat the next morning was unhinged. She says she’s fine. She isn’t.
Sophie Opened The Wrong Door
I did shout. Sort of. She still got an eyeful, went scarlet, then made tea like nothing happened. Mia is never letting either of us forget this one.
The Group Chat Has Screenshots
Of him. Of the texts. Of my “I’m coming home I swear” lie from 2am. Democracy is dead in this flat and I’m the president.
Sophie Heard The Headboard Again
She didn’t even knock this time. Just turned the radio up and sent a group-chat screenshot that said “congratulations I guess”. Fair.
The Cloakroom Queue Was Long
So we didn’t wait. Coat still on. His hand over my mouth because the attendant was two feet away pretending not to exist.
I Wrote This Before Sleeping
Phone on 4%. Makeup still on. Someone in my bed whose name is in my notes as “Tuesday?” That’s the job. That’s the life.
Mia Brought Him Home Again
Same boy. Third time. He makes better coffee than she does, which is the only reason Sophie hasn’t changed the locks. I give it a fortnight.
Sunday Kitchen Tribunal
Sophie, Mia, leftover pizza, three phones face-up. They made me go through every name from Saturday in order. I did. Then I asked who was taking me out next weekend. Silence.