He said they were “on a break”. The ring tan said otherwise. I still let him pay for the vodka sodas. Research, innit.
Tag: honesty
He Stayed For Breakfast Anyway
Look, I said he could get an Uber. He made coffee instead, used my good mug, and Sophie clocked the whole thing in her dressing gown. I still haven’t decided if that’s charming or a hostage situation.
Flatmates Rated The Walk-Ins
Scorecards on the fridge. Marks for height, exit time, whether they made tea. Last night’s got a 6. Harsh but fair.
I Snogged The Best Man
Wedding afterparty in Chelsea, open bar, I was only meant to be content. Best man had a fiancée on table nine. She found me in the cloakroom redoing lipstick. Awkward doesn’t cover it.
Night Bus Confessional Went Viral
I tweeted one line. Forty people asked for the rest. Fine. Here’s the rest, names changed, details not.
Sophie Heard The Lot
Thin walls, worse timing. I wasn’t quiet and she wasn’t asleep. Next morning she just slid a Tesco meal deal under my door like a peace offering. We still haven’t discussed it. Peak.
Why I Never Delete Hinge
Everyone’s pretending they’re done with apps. I’m not. It’s research. Also I get bored on the District line and some of these boys write like they’ve never met a woman. Useful.
I Came Back For Round Two
Same night. Same man. Different room because the first one had his flatmate snoring. Efficiency.
He Slipped The Condom Off
Felt it happen and I still didn’t stop him. That’s the confession. Came anyway. Kicked him out at 3am and sat on the bathroom floor thinking about how stupid I am.
He Called Me By Her Name
I still finished. Then I told him. Then I put it in the blog. Honesty is my vice, remember?